Miscarriage - This fathers Perspective

My thoughts have been sent flying back to painful loss as conversations etc over the past few days have mentioned miscarriage. I can't speak for every father who experiences the loss of a child in the womb (yes i believe life begins at conception). But from my own perspective of tasting from this bitter cup on two occasions here's some thoughts.

Delayed Grief
When it happened i wanted to be strong for my wife. Yes i felt as though i'd been sucker punched to the very soul but i wanted to be a pillar to lean on. I wanted to grasp on to the sovereign goodness of God in all things so that even a flavour of it could rub off and bring a glimmer of hopefulness.
This meant that i pushed aside much of my own thoughts and feelings and, instead of crying, let my shoulder soak up my wife's tears.

It Catches Up On You
While there were moments when my own hurt seemed to break through, they were quickly discarded in favour of 'playing the man'. But several weeks later, on both occasions i ended up in the house alone, holding the scans with heart wrenched tears pouring out of my eyes while prayers for clarity, faith and hope stammered from my lips.

While i do believe it is right to be strong, or at least act it for our wives since it is a bigger ordeal for them, it can only be bottled up for so long; eventually the cracks open wider.


You can read one of my journal entries from the 2nd mis here.
My family are praying many others who have, and who are, treading in the midst of far greater storms than this. May God grant grace sufficient for the hour . . .