Looking for a Pastor?

I’m not sure who originally wrote this but I came across it the other day and thought it was class.

“The following is an overview of candidates for a pastorate;

Noah: Former pastor of 120 years with not even one convert. Prone to unrealistic building projects.

Joseph: A big thinker, but a braggart; believes in dream interpreting, and has a prison record.

Moses: A modest and meek man, but poor communicator, even stuttering at times. Sometimes blows his top and acts rashly. Some say he left an earlier church over a murder charge.

David: The most promising leader of all until we discovered the affair he had with his neighbours wife.

Solomon: Great preacher but our parsonage would never hold all those wives.

Elijah: Prone to depression. Collapses under pressure.

Elisha: Reported to have lived with a single widow while at his former church.

Hosea: A tender and loving pastor but our people could never handle his wife’s occupation.

Jeremiah: Emotionally unstable, alarmist, negative, always lamenting things, reported to have taken a long trip to bury his underwear on the bank of a foreign river.

Isaiah: On the fringe? Claims to have seen angels in church. Has trouble with his language.

Melchizedek: Great credentials at current workplace, but where does this guy come from? No information in his CV about former work records. Every line about parents was left blank and he refused to supply a date of birth.

John: Says he is a Baptist, but definitely doesn’t dress like one. Has slept out doors for months on end, has a weird diet, and provokes other denominational leaders.

God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called.”