We've talked about my sunday school fart but today we turn to more of a weekly tradition than a one off moment:
As is the custom with pretty much everyone who goes to church we sat in the same seat every week. I'm not sure whether it was simply out of ingrained coolness that kept us returning to the back row or the grooves our bums had worn in the pew. But there we sat anyway.
Now, every week someone would bring a stash of sweets, admittedly this was usually the same 'someone'; Wilky, who would generously share them out. But just what do you do with the empty, and often sticky wrappers?
You try your best to silently unwrap the mouth watering contents so as not to disturb the sermon (usually this is an unsuccessful maneuver) and after placing that delightful clump of sugar in your mouth you have a choice to make:
You can put the wrapper in your suit pocket risking the desecration of your Sunday best with residue stickiness. Or you can stash them in the *Bible and Hymn book holder.
Upon careful consideration we found an alternative solution to rid ourselves of our contraband's evidence & to smuggle them out of the Church. Not in our pockets, not in our shoes and certainly not in any of our orifices. No, we, with ninja like precision would slip our empty wrappers into the wide rimmed hat of the lady who sat in front of us.
While three fellas think this is a fun way to dispose of rubbish, and so tend to eat more and more to see how much they can get into the hat, ladies certainly do not appreciate it. And so i feel i should finish off with a warning to anyone who, come Sunday is looking between an empty wrapper and a hat. It'd be funny to do, but if you get caught you may face major consequences.
*Stashing wrappers in the Bible & Hymn book holder isn't a good idea when your parents clean the church and clip your ear when they find a sizable mound of rubbish.
