Am I An Older Brother?

I've been reading Timothy Keller's 'The Prodigal God' which, by the way i would highly recommend to anyone & everyone. Non-Christian's especially will find it an interesting book, but it is also one to stand out for Christians.

As Keller takes us through the Parable that we commonly know as the prodigal son, it begs me to ask the question: 'Am I an older brother?'


Am I An Older Brother?
Am i working, serving God, seeking righteousness etc because i think it'll mean God 'owes' me one, or that i'll undoubtedly win favour from Him? Serving & obeying to get favour, wealth, inheritance etc rather than serving & obeying because of love for the Father!

What motivates me to read my Bible, pray, go to Church, try & avoid sin, try to obey His commands. What is my heart longing for in my service in various areas, is it payment or applause from men? Or is simply out of love for Christ & because of His work in me?

Do i swell up in pride over my religious accomplishments, forgetting that God's grace is unmerited & that i am called to live in faith, not of works?

Do i feel rage & questions about God's goodness arise when things don't go my way, i don't receive what i think is due to me?

Do i look down on others, who do not fit into my categories of 'christian'?

Do i feel rage at myself when i know i haven't lived up to 'my' standards, when some suffering hits. Blaming myself for my lack of obedience bringing hardships or causing me to miss blessing?

Do i get raging when the Father runs to throw His arms around a rebel, a younger brother, who has spent their life in sin & disobedience toward Christ. When they are given the Father's cloak, ring & are restored into fullness with God even before they are able to say the words of repentance that they may have rehearsed?

Do i stand separated from God in all my religion?


A Problem with the Question
One problem in asking this is that the elder brother syndrome means that the older brother is blind to it. We pat ourselves on the back for the 'good' & 'righteous' acts we've done yet fail to realize that our hearts are far from God & we stand outside His kingdom with a need to repent, as it were, of our righteousness!


Summary
I guess its a question that needs constant asking, bringing our hearts under scrutiny time & again as we search them with the Word of God. For me, so far this has pointed out a few areas where older brother-'ness' is evident.
But as i say, part of this condition seems to be a blindness to it. I guess we need to have a listening ear for what others think of us in this area, it may be painful but wouldn't we rather have the surgeons knife than terminal disease?

As in this great Parable, the Father comes out to the older brother our Father comes out to us. I guess we must go with Him, listen to what He says & place our hope solely upon Jesus, not our works of righteousness.

It is Jesus who fulfilled the law, lived a pure & spotless life, died & rose again on our behalf, the work of our union & peace with God has been finished by Him. We stand in Him finding that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus & that i, as religious as i may think i am rely solely upon my Fathers love & unmerited grace poured upon me.


[I used the picture of Jacob & i for this post because i felt it portraits a father's love for his son. My love for Jacob is a mere shadow of the love that God has for both the older & younger brothers, the religious & the prodigal. Plus i loved this picture & thought i'd show it off.]