Supersimbo suggested I blog about parenthood & so I discussed this with Barbara who has kindly agreed to join me in this and so, periodically we'll fire up a post taking an aspect of parenthood & I'll give my perspective as dad & Barbara will give her perspective as mum. The intent is to mainly make this a joint venture though its completely open for Barbara to post on something on her own if she wants - [infact I think I'd like to see her post on other issues or thoughts etc on Homileo & not just when I ask her to do something like this].
So today we thought we might start near the beginning with the 'finding out that you're gonna have a baby' with pregnancy test etc. (We start with this because to go back further would see my blog become an over 18 site & frankly it'd be far too much fun).
Dad:
With Jacob, we were trying to have a baby & since we'd had a miscarriage only a short while before & Barbara was taking clomid due to Polycystic ovary syndrome there was further anticipation, concerns & fears.
Barbara's periods aren't regular & so it seemed we were getting pregnancy tests every week with them showing a negative & bringing disappointment & longing as we sought God to bless us with a child knowing that it ultimately lay in His hands above any treatments.
I remember the day that Barbara rang me at work, she'd just done a test that showed a positive! I was so excited & yet scared; excited by the prospect of being a dad, yet scared that the sorrow of the previous 'mis' may revisit us.
We prayed through, relaxing a bit more each time we went for a scan at the hospital, seeing development & a steady heartbeat.
The scans for me were amazing, I can't believe that God has given such technology that we can see our unborn children - first as tiny dots, then developing further & further as God knits them together in the womb, its amazing.
Below is a picture of Jacob sucking his thumb in one of the scans
When Jacob began moving in the womb, feet or hands causing a lump to move across Barbara's belly it was brilliant, one of my favourite moments of pregnancy next to the scans. This, almost 'alien' like movement under the skin that was both freaky & brilliant at the same time would make me laugh & run a shiver down my spine as I was thankful for both pregnancy & the fact that us guys don't go through what our wives have to.
When it comes to the actual labor, I felt horrified at the amount of pain I had to watch my wife suffer & even remember crying as I watched her reel in the agony of birth. When Jacob's head began to appear I couldn't resist a glance down, & although I'm squeamish (not even comfortable watching casualty or holby) I have to say it was a beautiful thing to see his head appear.
Then I held Jacob while Barbara was cleaned up etc, and wow that indescribableness of holding your firstborn son...
*On a side note, before Barbara takes over, one of the things that most women (Barbara was no exception) are concerned about is the stretch marks that pregnancy brings. Honestly, I think that these should be counted as beautiful as they speak of life & act as a reminder of God's blessing with the gift of a child.
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Mum:
Parenthood starts when your waiting in anticipation for that little blue line to appear and then, wow, its there & your whole world changes & the excitement is immense, you run and tell your husband and you enjoy that great news together!!!
However in my opinion that excitement soon starts to change to worry and nervous feeling as you start to think is all ok, when will i tell others etc, but that's normal. I was probably more so as i had just had a miscarriage about 2 months before i conceived Jacob and I was having to take a drug called clomid to help conceive as i have pcos which can make it harder to conceive!!!!!!!!
I'm sure there are alot of people who can relate to this also which is why I'm sharing it, I hope it will help and give hope to anyone in the same situation, god is in control and he knows whats best even though when its happening you feel angry and hopeless!!!!!!
But from when you get your scan and you see their little heart flashing in front of your eyes on that little screen its amazing, You soon start to feel pregnant and it gets more real as the months go on, you dream of what it will be like to hold your child for the first time and dream of what they will look like etc!
Once you start to get to nine months you wait in anticipation for those first pains to start and when they do the excitement and nervousness comes back but its different, you just cant wait for the baby to finally be here, I'm my opinion a women's perspective and thoughts are very much different on the labour, and advise that you really talk to your partner and prepare for what to expect, pray together regarding all your care and the baby's!
When the moment finally comes and your pushing your baby out the feeling of relief and amazement as they come out and they lift them up onto your chest is the most amazing experience, they open their little eyes and you say I'm your mummy and here is your daddy, you become so protective and the maternal instincts that God gave us start to kick in!
to be continued.........
