Sex & Dating - Playing the Field?

By | 06:30:00 Leave a Comment
This began as a response to a question regarding "playing the field" when you are younger:

"Honestly, I believe that the desire of a young person to have a girlfriend or boyfriend is a great motivating factor to become a man or woman worthy of dating and marriage.

I believe that we should only date members of the opposite sex who we could honestly see ourselves spending our future with. In this I'm aware that a certian amount of 'dates' and 'getting to know eachother' need to happen before that conclusion can be drawn.

What I'd say is that to play the field is wrong and has at core a sinful attitude of self gratification (not even speaking sexualy), but that when we date, we should be aware that for that time God has placed that girl in our possession for His glory. That she is a sister in Christ and not yet one with us and so should be treated with respect as we persue relationship with her.
Also that we should be a blessing to her walk with Christ and in our example of what Godly manhood looks like.

It is a sure thing that alot of relationships don't last, so as Christians date, we must find a God exalting, Christ centered way of doing that. I think the Song of Solomon is great on this, in that the couple spend time getting to know each other - they date. So dating's biblical! Chapter 2:8-10 shows him coming and asking for a date.

I have to hold my hands up and say I do have some extreme veiws that are shaped from Song of Solomon. I am leaning on the side of french kissing as being for marriage alone - the only time we see it is after the couple are married and are in foreplay getting ready to make love. (4:11) But I'd only advise this, the main thing is that each person doesnt ask the question 'how far can i go' but rather asks 'How can I best glorify Christ in this?'

1 Corinthians 10:31 tells us "Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of Christ". I reckon that dating falls under "whatever" and "all".

So although I do believe in dating and wouldn't put an age limit on it, and would even encourage the awareness that a particular relationship may not last, I'd say that to 'play the field' holds a wrong heart motive, one that is about onesself getting around as many delightful partners as possible and getting self enjoyement in this area and doesn't first point to God in it".