In Driscoll's "The Ox: Qualifications of a Church Planter" one of the things he asks about anyone who's being considered as an elder/pastor is "if you'd like your son to grow up and be like this person?" or "if you'd like your daughter to marry a guy just like this man?"
I've been hesitant to post about this for a couple of reasons; 1 I'm not sure how far my mind is taking me on this line of thought and 2 I'm sure there are far more important things from his message that could spark further thought! But I'm going to let my fingers follow my mind across the keyboard on this anyway. (Since I'm typing as I'm allowing my mind to flow on this, please forgive that this could be messy)
This is a very practical line of thought, and one that I think that would help our children in their future church life.
My upbringing was in quite a traditional Methodist Church with the Reverends and ministers in full robes and collars, as a child I quietly considered this to be hilarious and somewhat gay - these so called leaders wore dresses in my eyes!
Add to this the particular single tone and word pronunciation that they all seemed to have and you understand why a couple of us sat at the back placing sweet wrappers in the hats in front when we older!
They were nice men, and I do mean that! But they weren't exactly men that you'd follow to do battle at the gates of hell (If you know what I mean).
So I like this question, and would urge anyone with children to consider that the elders/pastors of a church-the leaders who we look up to and put ourselves under the authority of, will be role models to both us and our children!
They are who we are following, and who shape our doctrine and christian living. There is no getting around it - these men are the watermark of Christian manhood in that fellowship.
Hebrews 13:7 tells us to "Remember those who rule over you, who have spoken the word of God to you, whose faith follow, considering the outcome of their conduct"
So its good to consider the impact that they'll have on your family as well as you.
Will they be good masculine roll models for our sons? And will they be a good example of what our daughters should look for in men?
Our children are going to find hero's and role models all over the place, in TV, music, film etc and we as Christian parents are careful about who we bring in as role models to our kids!
If I have a daughter in the future I'll not be bringing in such examples as Jordan (famous for getting her boobs out) or any other such 'famous' person as an example of what a lady is to be like!
And for Jacob, I'll not be setting forth either the stereo type wimpy and clumsy Ned Flanders, nor the over exaggerated masculine-kids that we see in gangs etc as examples of manhood, or even the oaf that is Homer Simpson!
No I want my children to look up to worthy heroes! Men of valour, men of courage and men of God!
Just thought that it was something to consider!
Just think of your own pastor/elders - would you like your son to grow up to be like them, or your daughter to marry one of them? Are they good examples of responsible masculine Christian leaders?
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I was raised watching cartoons like He-Man, Dogtanian and the Muskahounds, ThunderCats etc; seeing characters of bravery, chivalry, courage and justice, but at the same age I didn't see these qualities as being outstanding in Christian men. It wasn't until I was older and became a Christian and I read of the likes of John G. Patton or George Muller etc that I began to see that being a Christian didn't have you sit quietly in the corner with your hair slicked to the side, but that men such as these did great exploits, persisting on with God even through adversity and suffering! Being a male in Church ought not to deny us our masculinity but to encourage it in Godly directions for His glory!
I long to see men be men, responsible, mature and courageous in life, men of God, men of the Word, men who will risk in reaching the lost, men who lead and protect their families as well as men who lead and protect the church!
We all need role models, and we especially need Christian men who can lead us forward in Christ.
I know that Christ is the ultimate example, and I by no means wish to take away from that!
Even the best of men have their faults and will let us down, Christ will not let us down and He has no fault! But He set a structure within His Church having Elders being over us, men who lead and direct us, men who can teach, encourage as well as discipline and protect us!
Christian Men are not supposed to weak or feminine, they are supposed to be masculine men, responsible, mature, spiritual men who love Jesus, their wives, children and the Church.
So here's what we're looking for in men and in leaders who'll be examples for us;
~He has to be a masculine man, not just a nice guy, but a mans man!
~He has to be blameless
~He has to be the husband of 1 wife (operative word "husband", serving his wife as Christ served and loved the church)
~He has to be Temperate
~Soberminded
~Have good behavior
~Hospitable
~Able to teach (Churches are built on teaching the word of God so it is necessary that elders can teach).
~Not given to wine (personally I believe that elders are to totally abstain due to the difference between here and deacons who are not given to "much" wine).
~Not violent
~Not greedy for money
~Gentle
~Not quarrelsome
~Not covetous
~One who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverance (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God). [If a man is not active in family devotions, serving his family, leading them in Christ he cannot lead the church! The home is the litmus test].
~Not a novice [imature believer], incase he gets puffed up and falls into the same sinful pride as the devil.
~Must have a good tesimony among unbelievers [non-christians must like these guys].