Thursday 3 January 2008

When are you ready for marriage?

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To answer this I ask another question; "Are you a wall or a door"?

In the Bible this question is posed, Song of Songs 8:8 the girls brothers ask, (as a matter of background the girls father is evidently not around for some reason or another, hence the older brothers are responsible for the household);

"We have a little sister, And she has no breasts. What shall we do for our sister In the day when she is spoken for?"

Basically they are asking how they will come to an answer when someone comes to ask for their sister's hand in marriage.
Here's how they answer;

"If she is a wall, We will build upon her A battlement of silver; And if she is a door, We will enclose her With boards of cedar."

Here these men answer by saying that if their sister is mature enough to have control over sexual desire and to be defensive against boys who may chance their arm (or hand), if she is not sexually promiscuous but is sexually pure and holds strong morals then they will encourage her and support her, giving a blessing when the time comes.

But if she is a door, meaning if men can just go in and out of her like a door banging in the wind, if she is promiscuous like a dog in heat then they will lock her in her room and board it up and prevent her from getting to guys or men getting to her.

I love this girls answer;
"I am a wall, And my breasts like towers;"

She declares that she is a wall, guys don't cum and go as they please (forgive the pun), and she goes further by saying that her breasts are like towers, not meaning the size but that they are well respected and well defended; if a guy reaches his hand to feel them she considers it an attack and defends against it.

So the Biblical directive of when one is ready for marriage is to ask if that person is a wall or a door, if they are sexually active, promiscuous and cannot control their lust or if they have self control, honouring God and able to keep themselves from temptation as well as to defend against such attacks on something so precious.
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About Boaly
Gary has been involved in printing the Scriptures for 20 years, enjoys photography and rambling online

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Interesting stuff. What about that stuff Paul says about those who can't control themselves should marry?

I want to spend time teaching SoS's later this year.

Boaly said...

Yeh, Paul says in 1 Cor 7;9
” For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

And at a glance may seem to contradict Song of Songs 8 but I think understanding 1Jo 3:9 helps;
“Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.”

Experience of the Christian life says that this verse cannot mean that we as Christians do not and cannot sin, but rather it means that sin is not the habitual, unrestrained, unopposed rule of our lives. But that we struggle against it, striving to live victorious over it.

I don’t think Paul is talking to those ‘open doors’ who open their legs or pull down their zip at every opportunity, I think we agree that marriage does not end temptation to lust or adultery, those who are promiscuous before marriage are pretty much certain to continue this even in marriage.

I think this is talking to Christians who are struggling with lust, and I think the main word in that is ‘struggling’, Christians who are combating sin and temptation, when lust comes they do battle with it and are not content to let it have free course in their life. Another aspect that may come in here is that part of God’s revealed will to us is that we abstain from sexual immorality (1 Thess 4:3) and I would agree with John MacArthur that if we are not implementing those aspects of God’s will for us that He has revealed, then we will struggle to know the hidden will of God for us, which includes who we ought marry.

I think the Song of Songs carries the principle that we ought to be mature, self controlled, struggling against sexual promiscuity, able to commit to one person and more importantly that we long to honour and glorify Christ with sex.

(I’m not sure if I’ve clearly explained my thoughts on this, let me know your thoughts on Song of Songs 8 and 1 Cor 7).