Dear Jesus,I feel like it’s time I made contact with You;
it seems ages since the last time we met.
My life has just got so busy these days;
time alone’s such a rare thing to get.
So I decided to write you a letter,
cos my concentration goes when I pray.
I know it’s sort of like a prayer,
but my mind is less likely to stray.
There’s a lot I’ve been meaning to tell You
I’ve been struggling a lot this past while.
Brothers ask, “How’s the Lord treating you?”
And I lie, and put on a fake smile.
To be truthful, my walk is just awful,
but then You know all that, don’t You Lord?
I can put on a front for my family and friends,
and talk “Christian” until they are bored
but You see right through my flimsy facade
to the thoughts and intents of my heart.
Every filthy, lurid thought – every lust of my flesh;
piece by piece Lord, I am falling apart.
My Christian life’s a bit like a roller-coaster;
there are those times when I’m spiritually high,
but how quickly I plunge to the bottom again;
things were going well – what happened - and why?
There are so many things that I just love to blame
for my recurring failures day after day;
like tiredness, and circumstances; like TV and the world
but deep down they’re just excuses to make me feel OK.
And there’s always some magical date in the future -
of my mind when my life will get right,
but it never arrives – and things just continue
as they’ve always been, night after night.
Recently Lord, I’ve considered the option
that I might not even be saved,
How could a Christian continue to fall;
could Your child have a mind so depraved?
But I keep coming back from those frightening thoughts
to the verses I learnt in my youth;
believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and be saved,
for I know Lord that Your Word is truth.
And I really believe that You died in my place
when You hung on that blood-soaked old cross
You took Your Father’s rage for my filth;
I believe Lord, so why do I still feel lost?
Lord Jesus, I believe You’ve paid for my sin –
it’s simply a matter of trust
but to walk with You seems a much harder task
against apathy, selfishness and lust.
I think I am starting to understand more
of the reasons for my lack of love;
as it was with salvation – it’s all about faith
in You Jesus, and Your Words from above.
So I’m going to keep on searching Your Word
for help through this battle called “life;”
I’m hoping for better times in the future now Lord;
give me victory in the midst of my strife.
Well I’m going to finish off now Lord,
I can’t believe I’ve managed to stay
focused while writing this letter to You;
my mind hasn’t wandered away.
Maybe this is the start of the all new me;
how many times have I said that before?
But I plead for Your presence to be real today
and that my heart will love You much more.
Anonymous.
