First off, let me apologize for the length of this post, it's the result of a few conversations today & is probably on the back of yesterdays post on praying for relationships in the UK."If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride-price for her and make her his wife."
Exodus 22:16
"If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin."
But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1 Corinthians 7:9
Applying these Today?
Imagine that this was the teachings of our churches & counsel given by Pastors to dating Christian couples who are struggling to keep their hands off each other:
[Couple] "Pastor, we're really struggling, we know its wrong & we want to obey God but sometimes we just feel overwhelmed, what do we do, have you an answer?"
[Pastor] "Yes, tomorrow morning when the council office opens ring them & see when the earliest possible date is that they can fit you in to be married. We'll begin marital classes now, and help disciple you well into your marriage to help strengthen your commitment to the marriage & to making it a God glorifying, lasting marriage...
...And, oh yeh, with the principal of Exodus 22:16, the girls dad isn't going to pay for the wedding, rather the guy is."
Can you imagine how many people would actually take this advice? Or how many phone calls the pastor/counsellor would get from disgruntled family members?
What Am I Saying?
Am I saying that if a couple have sex they should marry? Yes & No!
I do believe that these are principles for God's people; Christian couples, who are struggling with their natural desires to become one in sexual intimacy. Notice I put the word 'struggling' in bold, it is the operative word in my thoughts here.
My advice here is for a couple who both know that God's will for them is that they be sexually pure (1 Thessalonians 4:3), but who have strong desires for each other, and find it a real struggle. They are in battle with the sin of sexual immorality & temptation, & even though they may fall to it at time(s) it is in their mind an act of disobedience against their Lord.
When NOT to Marry
Scripture also tells us when someone ISN'T ready for marriage in Song of Solomon 8:9 where a girls brothers (her dad's not around) are asking how they'll answer when a guy comes to ask for their sisters hand in marriage.
Their answer is basically that if she is righteous & can defend against the sexual advances of men they'll say yes. But if she is an easy lay they'll lock her in her room & throw away the key, (You can read a lengthier post on this here).
So if someone is sexually promiscuous & has no struggle against, or conscience over their disobedience against God on this matter & they freely have casual sex when or if they like, then that person is nowhere near ready nor mature enough to enter into marriage & should not be helped nor advised toward it.
Imagine that this was the teachings of our churches & counsel given by Pastors to dating Christian couples who are struggling to keep their hands off each other:
[Couple] "Pastor, we're really struggling, we know its wrong & we want to obey God but sometimes we just feel overwhelmed, what do we do, have you an answer?"
[Pastor] "Yes, tomorrow morning when the council office opens ring them & see when the earliest possible date is that they can fit you in to be married. We'll begin marital classes now, and help disciple you well into your marriage to help strengthen your commitment to the marriage & to making it a God glorifying, lasting marriage...
...And, oh yeh, with the principal of Exodus 22:16, the girls dad isn't going to pay for the wedding, rather the guy is."
Can you imagine how many people would actually take this advice? Or how many phone calls the pastor/counsellor would get from disgruntled family members?
What Am I Saying?
Am I saying that if a couple have sex they should marry? Yes & No!
I do believe that these are principles for God's people; Christian couples, who are struggling with their natural desires to become one in sexual intimacy. Notice I put the word 'struggling' in bold, it is the operative word in my thoughts here.
My advice here is for a couple who both know that God's will for them is that they be sexually pure (1 Thessalonians 4:3), but who have strong desires for each other, and find it a real struggle. They are in battle with the sin of sexual immorality & temptation, & even though they may fall to it at time(s) it is in their mind an act of disobedience against their Lord.
When NOT to Marry
Scripture also tells us when someone ISN'T ready for marriage in Song of Solomon 8:9 where a girls brothers (her dad's not around) are asking how they'll answer when a guy comes to ask for their sisters hand in marriage.
Their answer is basically that if she is righteous & can defend against the sexual advances of men they'll say yes. But if she is an easy lay they'll lock her in her room & throw away the key, (You can read a lengthier post on this here).
So if someone is sexually promiscuous & has no struggle against, or conscience over their disobedience against God on this matter & they freely have casual sex when or if they like, then that person is nowhere near ready nor mature enough to enter into marriage & should not be helped nor advised toward it.
